Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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