Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
