I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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