god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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