how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
