Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
