oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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