Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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