I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
