I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
