I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
