Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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