just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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