I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
