There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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