But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She is in my trunk
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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