lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
