He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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