Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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