i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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