There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
