so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
false alarm, still single
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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