honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
