I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so let's talk penis.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
