R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He passed out mid-signature
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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