I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
