They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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