i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize