thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how can u be prego again
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
