Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
