This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
