she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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