I am in a vortex of obligation.
Screwed.edu
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
