yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
