We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
