Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
