wanna go halves on a baby?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
