Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You're like the curious george of whores
im calling her cock vulture from now on
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
