Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
