Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
