I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
