If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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