I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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