Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
