stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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