i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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