You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
