Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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