we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
