We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
