You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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