respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
