So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
