the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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