Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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