plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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